The next morning, the wonderful, familiar sound of many voices and the delightful smell of cooked salmon greeted Mona as she climbed down the stairs. Captain Malarkey and his crew had just arrived on their marvelous vessel, the Sweet William. They had visited Pearly Beetle on many occasions. Captain Malarkey was one of those seafarers who had visited every year for countless years, though it was never clear exactly when he would turn up. Captain Malarkey had sailed with Mona’s father and mother when they were all young. For some people, Captain Malarkey was a bit too dramatic. Captain Malarkey’s speeches were silly, his stories bordered on ridiculous, but he had a big heart. He had long been a Captain and always did his best by his crew, who loved him as loyally as lions could love. Mona too adored him and the feeling was mutual. Nanny loved the Captain, but found it difficult to tolerate his tales. Several sailors cried out hellos to Mona as she entered the hallway.

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“Mona, me Love,” said Captain Malarkey swinging Mona down the stairs into a bear hug, “yer an awful good sight ter see after nearly bein’ bit off by pirates.” Mona’s eyes widened at the word, “pirates.” The rest of the crew grew quiet.

“They was chasin’ us,” the captain chuckled. “Now I’ll be the first ta admit them jewels was as much mine as they were them darn pirates.”

“Captain!” exclaimed Nanny. “Are you saying you’ve been dishonest?”

“Well Miss Nanny, these oceans are awful huge, and ya can’t always be honest. I do generally try ta trade fair and square.”

Mona, who was standing closer to the Captain, noticed his fingers were crossed. The Captain noticed Mona gazing at his fingers and uncrossed them. “Now, I’ll be promisin’ ya both that I’ll do something good and kind ta make up for it.”

“That is not the way it works, Captain. A right deed done after a wrong deed doesn’t make you square with the Lord,” said Nanny. Several sailors strolled out of the hallway.

“Well, if he’ll not be taken me best offer, then, I guess I’ll not be takin’ His neither, and’ll hold my nose and sink below the sea. We won’t be worryin’ about that now, will we?” said the Captain. A horde of hoots came from the other room at this comment.

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“What happened with the pirates?” asked Mona. The Captain glanced at Nanny. Nanny’s glasses were lowered to the tip of her nose and her lips were pursed.

“How’s about I tell ya while we’re fishin’?” He asked. Mona nodded.

“You others,” the Captain shouted, “get off Pearly Beetle and use some of your vacation like men.”

Lucie was picked up from the houseboat in the Leviathan. The Captain, Lucie, and Mona headed out to sea for a pleasant day. Lucie was keen on hearing about the Captain’s experiences with pirates. She kept fidgeting, which made the Captain quite nervous.

“So, tell us what happened,” said Mona, once all three of them had hooked their worms and cast their rods.

“Well, here I was with me best crew in the West Indies when we learnt we’re not gettin’ paid for our delivery of a thousand bushels of apples ’cause the company’s gone out o’ business. ‘What?’ asks me crew, ‘are we going ta do with all these apples and not a spare bit o’ change?’ I know me crew is getting rowdy, and I’ll be having a mutiny soon with no money and no liquor. Havin’ a crew and no salary for ’em is like rollin’ up your sleeve and sayin’ ‘bite me’ ta a cobra.” The Captain chuckled. Mona laughed too, but was not sure if she was supposed to find this part of the story funny or not. She straightened and cleared her throat. The Captain continued.

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“Well, I says, let’s take the day off ta look around port. See,” The Captain leaned in confidentially. He lowered his voice and fixed his look on the girls, “I was buyin’ meself some time. I don’t generally go out with the lot of ’em, but seeing as how I was hearing the wolves howl, I thought it’d be best ta have a bit o’gin and tonic.” The Captain straightened again.

“Well, here was me with me shaky reins leading, and the men like a team of rioty horses, but we soon found a pub. Within five minutes, the whole lot of ‘em were brawlin’ at the bar! ‘What’s this about?’ says I ta me first mate as I watched me cook and me deckhand wrestlin’ against some strangers and all the rest of me crew cheerin’ near enough by. Me first mate says them folks were dressed mighty strange. ‘Folks must be mighty sensitive, too,’ says me first mate. He pointed over ta a group of strangers. ‘The deckhand seyed something ta that stranger there and the man turned ’round and decked the deck swab in one swipe.’”

Me first mate said that next, the stranger pulls out a knife, but the cook o’ mine who is mighty fond of the deck swab hooks the stranger left.” The Captain tried to stand, shook the dingy, dodged an imaginary knife and gave a strong left hook into the air. Lucie smirked and Mona nudged her in the ribs. The Captain did not seem to notice.

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“‘And then the fella’s friend joined in and here we are.’ Me first mate nodded as if this were the finest o’places ta be and turned his attention back ta the brawl.”

The Captain pretended to collar one imaginary seaman, and then another. “I bent down and picked up these strangers, and I seys ta 'em, “What are ya doin’ rilin’ up me crew? Haven’t ya got a crew o’ your own?”

“‘Aye, aye, sir, they seys and smirk, mind you. Ya better watch it, they seys ta me.”

The Captain, still holding up his hands as if he had sailors by the scruff of their necks, looked from one hand to the other. Then he turned back to face the girls. “Can ya believe it? The nerve o’ the fellas!” He shook his head.

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“What in God’s name for?” I seys ta ’em.

’Cause, one of those strangers seys ta me, we be under the Jolly Roger. Now they didn’t scare me none, but they did give me an idea. I dropped those two and told ’em they should mind their business better, then left the bar.

Now, if I know anythin’, I know pirates is up ta no good and they got them some dishonest treasure. I went ta me cabin ta await the return of me crew, ’cause I wasn’t about ta ask ’em to come back, ‘til they themselves be wantin’ their own beds.

Now around four, I hear me crew on the gang plank. I spoke quietly ta five of me best mates and then we are back on shore again lickety-split. We searched the harbor and the west banks and finally found the foul ship we’d been searchin’ for, the one o’course belongin’ to those buccaneers.

We scaled the ship and searched her for treasure quieter than house cats, hopin’ the pirates to be dead drunk. We were assured when we heard ’em snorin’, and saw ’em splayed every which way on the floor o’ the deck, and smelt their stench. We went down ta the stronghold and there sure enough we found us jewels by the chestload—the like I’ve never seen afore— and we stood in a line, and handed ’em off ta each other ‘til you’d be hard put ta find a dime in there. We heaved the motherload back ta our own ship and set off that night ta another part of the island. Next day, we hid out somewheres landwise where no pirates’d know about, then kept right on sailin’. Me crew and meself have a hard-earned vacation now. Came ta visit you and yer Nanny fer a couple o’days, at least.”

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“Wow,” said Mona, “that’s quite a story, Captain.”

“Yeah? Ya think yer Nanny’d like ta hear it now that she’s a bit calmer?”

“Maybe not today,” said Mona, thinking that this story was perhaps out of the realm of morals for which Nanny stood. “You know she’s awfully busy when so many people are around.”

“I liked your story, but …” said Lucie. She frowned. “I wish you hadn't taken from the pirates.”

The Captain fumbled with his line and scratched his head. He misinterpreted Lucie (who had a great fondness for pirates).

“Aye, miss. Perhaps Miss Nanny and ya both are right and we shouldn’t o’ fooled ’em. But they were dishonest fellows, honest. What do you think, Miss Mona?” The Captain’s look implored her to agree with him. Lucie raised an eyebrow. Mona pictured Nanny with her characteristic scowl. She made an effort to reconcile all sides.

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“Well, Captain, it was a good idea you had, but maybe you shouldn’t have taken all the jewels, and if you see the pirates again perhaps you can give back a chest or two.”

“If you get a chance,” Mona added, “you might try and smooth things over with Nanny. You shouldn’t have vexed her so. How about that?”

She looked from the Captain to Lucie.

“Humph,” said Lucie.

“Humph,” said the Captain. Each was frustrated in his or her own way and so they fished and thought in silence, until Mona spoke again.

“Let’s go back for lunch,” she said. Her notion this time was well appreciated as each felt their stomach grumble stronger than their thoughts. Time had passed rapidly, and when they got back it was nearly one o’clock. It was pleasant and cool in Pearly Beetle. All the others had eaten, but Nanny saved them crab and seaweed salad. Each took a bite and, after cooling themselves on the inside, their thoughts too returned to gentler places and their civility towards each other was resumed. Soon they laughed together–even Nanny–and the sound echoed out across the water.

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