“Captain, stop your bullying,” said Nanny, as Mona entered.  It seemed the Captain had been over-salting the pirates’ gashes and binding their wounds extra tight, so they cried out.  He frowned at Nanny and shook his head.  No one spoke for awhile after that and bandages, hot rags, and ice were administered in silence. 

​

“Alright girls, thanks for your help, now go amuse yourselves, please,” said Nanny, as Mona held the bandage firm and Nanny wrapped the last wound. 

At first, Mona and Lucie spied on the pirates and sailors; however, this soon became boring because neither crew did anything that the girls had not seen them do when they’d been in the same room with them.  The girls played a game of checkers in the hall, until they heard a knock.

“I’ll get it,” called Mona.  She ran to the front door. 

​

In came the first mate, Mr. McCreedy, and the doctor.  The doctor was a lanky man, who itched often by gathering the cloth of his coat first, and then using the cloth mound as a back scratcher.  Mona observed this practice of his before he stepped over the threshold.  She wrinkled her nose. 

He yawned and blinked slowly as he walked towards the injured men.  Pearly Beetle and its beautiful insides seemed not to interest him any more than his new patients. Over the next few hours, he exhibited a sharp temper.

​

“Would you either hold your arm straight or show me you can’t, so I can tell it’s broken,” said the doctor to one pained pirate who was having trouble lifting his arm.

“What’s the matter with you anyway?  You’ve only got a cut,” he said to one young sailor.  The doctor did not inquire as to why a house full of people had a number of cuts, a few fractures, and an interesting variety of other assorted wounds. He seemed to be going about his task as fast as he could.  Since his arrival, Nanny and Captain Malarkey had eyed the doctor with their lips pursed.

“I don’t think he’s a real doctor,” whispered Lucie. 

Mona too, was not impressed by him.  She wondered where Mr. McCreedy had found him and guessed that he was not a very good physician.

​

“Can you get the confounded children out of here? Always making noise,” complained the doctor, as he scratched his back.

Nanny ushered Lucie and Mona out of the room.  They found Prince Edward in the middle of the living room between the pirates and the sailors.  He had put his books and toys on a blanket and dragged it into the living room.  Several made faces and smiled at him while he sat, cross-legged, with a book about the ocean across his lap.  He smiled up at Lucie and Mona.

“Hello,” he said.

“Would you like to go for a swim?” Lucie asked Prince Edward.

“Yes,” he said and stood up. 

But before they could leave to go for a swim, someone in the kitchen screamed.  “All this excitement is wearing me out,” said Lucie, as she and Mona, along with the healthy pirates and sailors, ran back into the kitchen.

​

A pirate and a sailor both held the doctor.  He had a gag in his mouth now, but it was obvious that the scream had issued from him.  He was trying to get away from his captors, but the sailor and the pirate worked together to bind him up with a tangled bundle of yarn.  Nanny and the Captain stood in the doorway of the kitchen and argued.  They did not seem to be paying much attention to the tied doctor.  Everyone else watched Nanny and Captain Malarkey. 

Mona was surprised to see the doctor being treated in such a way, but she was even more surprised that the sailor and the pirate were working together.

​

“What are you doing?” cried Mona to the pirate and the sailor. 

The sailor smiled.  “He’s my second cousin,” he explained, pointing to the pirate.  He pushed the doctor’s gag in further to show that the doctor, however, was not family.  The pirate slapped the sailor on the back.  There was a grumble from the sailors and pirates in the doorway. 

“Oh...good,” said Mona. She was not sure how to respond; obviously the sailor had misunderstood.  She tried again, this time nodding in the direction of the gagged man. “But what are you doing to the doctor?”

“He was trying to steal my wallet!” said the sailor, “We aren’t hurting him none, but we thought we should tie him up,” said the sailor.

 “You should release him at once,” said Nanny, but she seemed so distracted by her argument with the Captain that her words didn’t carry the weight they would normally have and the two men continued to tie up the doctor.  The doctor actually looked much better wrapped up in purple yarn than he had looked previously.  Now he resembled a large birthday gift.  The doctor continued to squirm and try to talk.

​

“Oh, what do you want to say already?” said the sailor, who held the doctor’s bounds.  He nudged the doctor with his foot, but the fellow wouldn’t be quieted.

“What’s so important then?” said the pirate.  The gag was removed. 

The doctor looked around.  Nanny and the Captain had stopped arguing for the moment and also watched the doctor.  It was a few seconds before he spoke, until the sailor, said, “out with it.”

“I admit it! Technically, I’m not a doctor.  That man asked if I could mend wounds, and I can! Took a fish hook out of my own foot once.  He said that’d work and we could split the doctor’s fee, but this is ridiculous.  You’re all crazy.  That man and woman are crazy,” he pointed at Nanny and the Captain. 

​

Then something funny happened.  The pirates and sailors began to laugh.  Nanny and the Captain began to laugh, too.  Mona, Lucie, and Prince Edward laughed.  They had all had quite a day and their nerves were wrought.  The doctor’s wrinkled face grew red with anger and his eyes were crunched into slits.

“Stop laughing,” said the doctor. “Take me home at once!”

“More likely, we’ll strand you on the Blackberry Isles,” said a sailor.  Laughter erupted all around the room.

“Or kill you,” said a pirate.  More laughter. 

“No,” said the doctor, “I insist—no, I order you to take me back.” 

Even more laughter. “You’re not in a position to tell us what to do,” said a sailor. 

“You listen—” began the doctor, but the gag was put back into his mouth.

“We’ll take you back when we’re good and ready.  Maybe!” said another pirate.

​

During this time, Mr. McCreedy had inched closer and closer to the front door.  He had almost made a quiet exit, while this discussion was going on, but a pirate grabbed him.

“What about that first mate o’ yours, Captain?” asked the pirate.

“He didn’t even get us a real doctor,” said a sailor.

“He’s always cheating us,” said another sailor.  A chorus of agreement sprang up.

“Alright, alright,” said Captain Malarkey.  He apparently thought he had another mutiny on his hands. “Mr. McCreedy, yer being asked ta quit office.”

“Fine,” shouted McCreedy, “that’s just fine.  I quit anyway.  I miss the mainland!” 

All the sailors and pirates shook their heads at that.  Several sailors left to drop the doctor and Mr. McCreedy at the mainland.  Few goodbyes were paid to the doctor and the old first mate. 

​

“Good riddance,” said Nanny.

“Should’ave called him when I was sick,” joked Captain Malarkey to Nanny and nudged her with his elbow.  She didn’t respond and elbowed the Captain back with much more force than he had exhibited on her.  He rubbed his side as she moved toward the wounded to determine if a real doctor should be sent for. 

Nanny seemed satisfied, however, that they had been nursed well enough by the girls, the Captain, and herself.  Like Pearly Beetle, the men had all escaped from the battle relatively unharmed.  A few cuts, bruises, two fractures, and scraps were not the worst that could have happened. 

Mona noticed the pirate captain held his head in his hands.  He must have been knocked in the head, at some point, because a large purplish welt had formed on the top of his head.  Mona brought him some ice, which he looked up and thanked her for. 

​

Mr. Hurston stopped by to pick up his children and was very surprised to see them playing pick-up sticks with pirates.  He went into the kitchen and tried to find out what was going on from Nanny.  Nanny, however, was in the middle of making an enormous lunch for everyone.  A number of pirates, as well as sailors, had been required to cut wild onions and roll acorn dough.  They leered at Mr. Hurston, making it even harder for him to ask Nanny what they were doing there.  He eventually gave up, and the Hurstons left for the afternoon, but not before Mona had extracted promises that they would return the next day.

It was nearly dinnertime when Nanny called out, “time for lunch,” but no one corrected her.  It had been a long and exciting day.  Everyone was hungry.  The pirates and sailors sat down next to one another.  There was an uncomfortable silence that hung over the table.  The pirate captain looked around at his crew and cleared his throat.

​

“Well all, I apologize on behalf of my crew.  As it turns out, Pearly Beetle is lovely.  Miss Mona and Ms. Nanny are lovely,” said the pirate captain, “and Captain Malarkey, you have a right respectable crew.  You returned our treasure and I’d like to make peace.  As a small offering of goodwill, I would like to present this treasure map that we received via jar.”

“But Captain, you was just sayin’ that map is no good,” said one of the pirates, “It’s only half a map after all.” 

For a moment, the pirate captain’s eye flickered grey, but he laughed. “Perhaps they’ll have better luck with it than us.”

“Great,” muttered Captain Malarkey, as he took the map. 

​

A lackluster applause came after.  There were some general grumbles from the sailors, but pirates and sailors spoke to each other as they ate their lunches.

“I am really sorry I sent those pirates that map,” whispered Mona to the Captain.  “I caused this whole mess.”

“Oh, it’s alright,” replied the Captain as he played with his food.  If he had not loved Mona as he did, he might have been furious, but he had loved Mona since she was born, and her parents before her, so he could not stay angry with her.  Besides, it was not in the Captain’s gentle, gregarious nature to hold a grudge, so he looked up and winked at her.

Mona wished she could make amends with the Captain.  She wondered about the map and had an idea.  She had not bothered to look at it carefully.  Perhaps it was the bay surrounding Pearly Beetle!

​

“Can I see the map?” asked Mona. 

The Captain frowned, but handed the map to her.  Mona studied it for a minute and then held it up in the air and smiled. 

“It doesn’t matter we only have half the map.  I know just where this is.  The Dog Barrens!” 

There was one other island nearby Pearly Beetle and the Blackberry Isles.  Mona did not visit there often because a horrible thick fog hung about the miserable place. 

The sailors looked up with a new light in their eyes and the pirates grinned their compliments to the sailors.  Someone let out a cough and then a cheer arose.  Next, the whole table broke out in cheers. 

​

The table was alive with the words, “treasure hunting”.  Sailors and pirates clinked their glasses together, and the cheers lighted the internal flame of humanity in them all. 

“We’ll help you find that treasure,” cried the pirates.

“Good fellows,” cried the sailors.

Elderflower wine sloshed across the table, and in several hours, sailors clung to pirates and sang wobbly shanties on the porch steps.  Nanny had evidently had enough when she saw a pirate with a wooden arm try to climb onto the banister. 

“To bed, all of you!” she yelled. 

Grumbling, they went.

​